No More Moping

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Day 26

I made it. An internal chant of  "tomorrow you'll wake up and it will be day 26" kept me going but my god, what a night. again felt really weird and gross. Evening was nice. Started watching 'big little lies' and really enjoyed the 'me' time. Had all the candles lit. Kids were asleep and it felt great to have some headspace. 

Sanctuary bubble was soon popped though when I went to bed and boom: heart palpitations and horrible anxiety, manifesting as twitchy legs and sketchy mind. I then proceeded to wake up every hour or so gasping, convinced I was dying. I felt like was on a massive comedown. Not the healthy new me I was expecting. 

Still, I survived and took action. a) going to ease up on the aspartaine b) no more focusing on the bad and the 'struggle'. Yes, the struggle is real! but the struggle isn't all there is. So, determined to ram some jo back into my life I went, with the smalls, and joined the shiny posh sports club at 08:30 this morning. My treat for being a badass Wolfie killing mumma! AND, even at an eyewatering £187.00/month, it's basically free because I used to spend more on the poison of old (must stop buying stuff with that justification in mind- the well shall runeth dry soon). 

This year is going to be awesome!! 

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